Hmmmmmmmmmm

     This might be a "downer" of a post, but lets be honest. Pretty much no one reads this blog anyway. And... I'm not complaining, but I'm just wondering when is it time "to give up"? This blog, and endeavors in general. When is it time to give up a childhood dream? Or something you're really good at but doesn't make money or even a friendship? And, I think about this question a lot, because if you do read this blog, you'll know I"m a big God sleuth. I try to figure out God's plan for me... a little to much. I'm constantly curious and trying to "read the signs" and piece stuff together and put together links of people and situations and all that. At the same time I'm trying to balance what I want, with what I know if good for me and what is best of others and how much of what I want is in God's plan for me or not... Its sorta tiring... but I naturally think of all of these things at once pretty much and it sorta makes me go crazy... although I'm pretty sure I sorta was to begin with anyway XD  Mostly, thinking about all of this just makes me... not really sad, not really depressed but... down? I dunno. I guess because not only do I think about all that, I'm a little impatient. I'm the person that reads the end of the book to see how it ends or reads the Wikipedia before I see the movie XD I'd rather someone else make my food and me just get to eat it, than me make my own food. I eat raw fruits and veggies cause I'm too lazy and impatient to cook a meal, or even slice things. However, I'm pretty patient when it comes to people. That may seem weird, but with others I really do try to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. I guess its more myself that I'm not as good with. I dunno.
     Part of the reason I wanted to write this is because I am semi struggling with whether or not to continue this blog, because well, whats the use speaking if no one is going to hear you. Sure, I got God and stuff, but if I'm gonna take the time to write something, whats the point if no one reads and gets anything from it? Ya know? Now, I know I made a post last year about how I don't care about fame or money, and I don't. Thats not what I want from this, but I was sorta hoping for a couple people to interact with a bit. And sure, I get one person, once in a while and I've checked out other blogs and a lot of them don't seem to have many followers and even less, if any commentors, but it just makes me think that maybe this platform isn't for me, ya know? So I dunno yet. Maybe I'll still continue once in a while, but I'm not going to force myself to post something. And I really do like writing when I get into it, but it does... make me a little sad, I guess when I put forth effort and it seems like no one cares. I get it though, that's life. Most of our actions will go unseen and unoticed. Only God will know. But since I started this with the intent of being at least a little known its like... whats the point? So yeah. And trust me I have a dozen other "problems" similar to this in that I'm wondering when enough is enough and when its time to just... not. And I know that I have to pray, I do, and ask for God's wisdom and guidance, so I say, help me! If you see this, pray for me XD for wisdom and clarity in others stuff. And I pray for you, random stranger, that you may be blessed with the knowledge and wisdom and clarity you seek about a situation or two, too :)
     Well, no matter if anyone reads this or not, there is a certain therapeutic-ness (?) to writing and getting this all out. XD