So basically, out of high school I went to a community college, and so I'm done with all that. I got all the basics out of the way, plus I did stuff for fun and I have two Associate degrees, one in Art History (cause I found that I ended up liking it) and one in Natural Science and Math (cause by the time I was done with my general requirements I had most of this one covered already). I also have a job, a part time job that is almost a full time job when its really busy (I'm "on call"). But, still, when people ask me "what are you doing?" or "what are you gonna be?" I'm like "uhhhh... well this is what I've done and I still don't exactly know where its/God leading me". And I feel a little more pressure this year just because I'm sorta out of excuses to keep going to the JC but I don't have a steady job... I know I'm not the only out there, a lot of my friends or people I know are really in similar boats, but... its still challenging, it still makes you wonder and plead to God "just tell me where to go and what to do! step by step please" XD Yeah, I've said that many times. I'm that person that, as much as I like telling others what to do, I still love when others lay certain things out for me and give me step-by-step instructions. Its just easier that way, or so it seems. And so yeah, thats where I am, or that's where I feel I am: this sort of limbo between school and work and what do I do next exactly?
So, I thought I'd take the time to make a list of what I wanted to be when I grew up, when I was little. Well, not just when I was little, up until now and stuff, because I'm thinking that I might get some ideas as to "where to go from here" XD
So, these might not be in order, but I'll do my best. I know that when I was little I wanted to be, sort of non-traditional things. Well, even now I don't want to be "traditional" things. So, for example, I wanted to be a gymnast and and ice skater because those were the coolest sports in the Olympics. They were very pretty and athletic and I watched a lot as a kid. Honestly, those were my main two XD And then I also wanted to be a vampire, a werewolf, a mermaid, an elf, a fairy... mythical creatures. I also wanted to have superpowers and be able to save people. Actually, I still want that XD It doesn't help that there are all these Superhero movies now-- I want to help and save people! Actually, that's one thing I have noticed, I've always wanted to help people, save people and I've been trying to think of jobs that I could fulfill something like that, even if its not as obvious as being a police officer or a firefighter or something like that. Also I;ve thought about that more recently, like when I was younger it was purely about being a superhero and having cool powers XD
What else... Oh! I wanted to be a ninja too! And a model, thank you Tyra! What else... Can you see a theme here though? I've never wanted to be anything normal like a doctor or nurse (even though I'm Filipino) or a teacher or accountant or electrician or farmer or even an actress. I've wanted to be a voice actor, but I've never really wanted to be the star or really famous. I just like making funny voices. But, the theme I noticed, other than non-normal jobs, is that I liked physical jobs, athletic ones that I would always be in shape and be moving. I've always hated the idea of sitting at a desk all day, I really don't think I could do that, I get bored like that. As long as I can remember, I've always wanted to do very active jobs.
Like I said, though, its only more recently that I've tried to branch out XD In high school, because I got into kpop I wanted to be a dancer or something Kpop-y. Then I wanted to learn Korean (and before I was learning Japanese, but I'm still not anywhere near good at it) but I had no idea what I wanted to do with that. I've always been good at languages so people suggested being an interpreter or something, but I still always thought that wasn't exciting enough. So, coming out of high school, my interests were mainly in languages, dancing, and being a stunt woman. I don't know if I've said that before on here, but for a long time, and I still want to, but its not as... fervent in me, I wanted to be a stuntwoman. Again, a physical job, but I figured that it was gonna be as close to a ninja as I could get! XD Plus, i've always loved movies and the making of movies and the stunts are always my fav. I also do martial arts, so I thought it would be a good springboard. I've not given up on it entirely yet... but its not as important because, to be honest, I had ulterior motives. Just like in learning Korean, my goal would have been to get into the kpop world and meet korean celebs and all that (possible even fall in love and marry one??? XP). My goal for stunts... embarrassing to say... was quite similar. I'd be very interested in meeting good looking celebs and all that and possibly falling in love and marrying someone XD So yeah... once I was honest with myself about that, I sorta gave them both up because... I dunno, I know that goals like that drive some people, but it didn't make me the best version of myself. Goals like that just make me more selfish and less of a person that, I think, God would approve of.
So, after I sorta gave those things up, which was a few years ago, pretty recently, honestly, I tried to think a little more outside my box. Which was when I found Art History. I've always loved history and learning about how things are made and why, so I figured that maybe I could be some sort of tourist guide or something, maybe be able to travel too (and meet a man along the way... XP Do you see another theme???)... So yeah... I still haven't totally tossed that one out... but I mostly came up with that one so that I could tell people something and seem like I had a plan for taking so many classes... -_-
I also started thinking about other jobs that could fall under "saving people" jobs. So lately I've been thinking if I'd like o pursue any criminal justice or EMT stuff... But... I dunno, its interesting to me, and I could sorta see myself doing it... but it just doesn't quite seem right. Like, when I think about it, it doesn't seem like that's what God is calling me to do, it doesn't light up like other ideas have. But, who knows, I haven't crossed it out yet.
Another thing I've thought of is writing. I used to write more, and with this blog I'm trying to rekindle it again, but I've always thought that no matter what else I do, I could so writing on the side.
Going along with police and firefighter, I've thought about government work. I think the only reason I've thought about government work, though is because movies make it look so cool to be like a secret agent and all that. XD That's literally what I'd want to do, too. But if I had a job like that, I'd basically give up my life for it, cause just like in the movies, I'm sure that if you had a dangerous job and a family, it just... takes it toll, plus they could get hurt. I guess its the same with being a cop... but I dunno, I feel like being a cop is more... just different, well maybe not anymore. It might be more dangerous 0_o But still. Then again, I'm that really optimistic person that 'd be all "if there's a will there's a way" plus "God will provide!" XD So, I'm sure I'd find a way to make it all work.
Ok! Side note, I'm contunuing this post like a week later cause I was just lazy about writing... despite having a lot of ideas. Ugh. I need to get back on the train and stop being lazy! But I think I'm just gonna wrap it up anyway.
Oh! I remembered that, kinda going along with the stunt woman thing, and loving movies, I'd sorta love to be like a movie... reviewer person. I watch a fair amount of movie news and movie channels on YT and I'd love to be able to be someone like that, that gets to talk about movies and debate and scheme and all that stuff :)
But alas, I think... for now I'll be more practical. Cause I always have this practical side that says "go for a stable job that earns good so that you can invest in your hobbies and have fun that way". And the stable job that I've thought about for a while is welding, or something along those lines of a blue collar job that earns well but most kids now a days don't even think of. In a way, though, I sorta feel like I'm giving up on myself though... Like if I really tried for a more "exciting" job I'd do well... but at the same time I like having the stability of a job that is in super demand, ya know? So, I'll be praying a whole lot more on this, and please, if you read this and think "this gurl needs help", please, go ahead and pray for me too XD Cause I'd love for God to just give me a yellow brick road... but I have a feeling thats not exactly going to happen... So yeah... I just wanted to write this to remind myself of things I wanted to be so that maybe I could get some insight into myself? I dunno. XD I dunno if it helped, but... maybe one day it'll just click :)
Until then, I'd say... to all those people out there, not to "follow your dreams", I sorta hate that saying... Its too vague. But I'd say to always pray and listen to God and to go where He leads you. I'd also say that, I don't think that God is gonna plop you into a job/career that you totally hate. I think that if you're honest with yourself and what your interests are, that God will lead you to something that you can still be happy in, even if its not your "dream job". Cause, remember, you still need to pay the bills and take care of a family (if you have a family XD ). But yeah, and try not to be too discouraged if you end up in a place that you never thought you'd be. As long as you're doing your best to live by His words, I think you'll end up in a good place and things will probably turn out better than you expected in the first place. But! It probably won't just happen, you probably have to put some work into it first.
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