Current Night Stress

     So I told myself that I would look at new job opportunities today/tonight, and so I did... But I feel.. more annoyed and less sure than before! x"D I'm trying to focus on local jobs that are stable and pay well, but also ones that my feeble resume could even attempt to apply for... Cause... I went to community college... for a while XD... and I don't have a 4 year degree (yet?) and a lot of jobs that earn you money, you "need" a degree. Some of them, I get are just weeding out factors, but now a days things are so computerized that I'm sure I'd be chucked out -_- Just for not having the right "requirements". Ugh. And its not that I'm lazy or whatever about getting a Bachelors... I just don't think its really worth the money XD Especially since I still wouldn't have a specific reason or major in mind to do it. I'd just be getting one that would look good to some stupid algorithm. (sigh)
     And this isn't to say that you shouldn't be like me and stuff, I'm just pointing out something, mostly to myself, because this whole thing is just to get it off my chest. I still gotta do the dishes after this and I wanted to feel better by just writing this. So yeah.
    But, I was looking at the Forbes Best 100 Companies List thing and a lot, well not a lot, but a good handful of the companies on there, are local enough to me that I could apply to them. And since I'm looking for stability and benefits and good pay and all, its not a bad thing to do. But... two sorts of "jobs" are my options, I feel. The more retail/grocery/service/hotel companies and the more scientific and business-y/technically boring but pays better companies. Ya get me? Like, on the retail side, that stuff seems pretty easy to get into and the job is easy, but it makes you wonder how far "up the ladder" can you go, ya know? Assuming that benefits are good for both types of jobs do I take the more (seemingly) fun and service and people job? Or the more paying (most likely) technical/boring on the surface job? And... even though it seems like I'd choose the former because its face value seems more fun at least in the short term, I can't help but wonder if I'm supposed to choose the latter. Like... I dunno. In a way, I can't see where a job that starts out in retail would end, over years and years ya know? Maybe manager of a store or manager of a region if you (I?) were good at the sort of thing. Or maybe I'd be in a completely different area of the business, one I can't imagine at the moment... And on the more technical side, it seems like I'd be doing my original job for a while, and eventually sort of make it to a more managerial position... again with the manager stuff, but I'm basing this off what I've heard "grown ups" say XD So... Ugh, when I think of both that way... I'd rather have neither -_- It just sounds boring. I'd rather be a cool stunt person XD But... I think that dream is fading for me :/ Not because I'm getting too old... but... because I just haven't put the effort in that I'd imagine it would take, and I don't really see myself doing it anytime soon...
     Where was I going with this? I dunno XD But... ugh, I feel like I have to make the decision soon or something. Mostly, cause parents. And the fact that I don't need to go back to school in January... but if I keep the same job and stuff... I'll have time to go back to school, even its it just to take what I did this semester: tennis and weight training XD Which, I wouldn't mind doing, but at the same time, I want to start making more money and saving up for LIFE and stuff, ya know? I wouldn't mind taking just this one more semester "off" to do that, but... I feel like my parents will really scowl at me and give me an ultimatum in the summer or something 0_o Not like, kick me out... but I feel like they'd super, super, super, pressure me, ya know. Cause right now I don't have many excuses to not just get a full time job.... Ugh -_-
     There is a sort of 3rd path, too, that I'm contemplating, but I need to do more "research" and that a full on trade job, such as welding. But, for that, I'd have to have an apprenticeship and stuff and those can take fro 2 to 5 years! Sheesh! Thinking about all that time just... is kinda weird XD I'll be... not 30... but a lot closer XD Hopefully I'd be married 0_o And then I also can't help but think that I'm coming at this whole job thing from the perspective that I need to support myself for my whole life. Which, I think is a good thing to prepare for, but most likely I will get married to a man with a pretty stable job himself so... Yeah... I dunno. I think a lot. But I like to think, because I like to plan and I like to think about what God's plan is for me XD XD
     The only thing that popped out to me, maybe, while I was job searching is the thought that all my  life I've essentially wanted to be a person that "saves people" somehow. Its really broad... but I've always thought about how to do that and what would work best for me and all... and one company on the Best list is a company that my mom wants me to apply for... and is kinda in the business of "saving people". And its pretty high on the list... so I couldn't help but think that maybe that was a clue? But, when I looked at all the jobs, man, they just seemed soooooo extremely boring! Plus, they want people who are in the process of getting degrees related to the job field... and I don't think I qualify... But, I guess it never hurts to try. So maybe I will. We shall see. Maybe, its just a thought to get my mind going on more way the phrase "saving people" can apply to jobs. Like, maybe this little epiphany is just a stepping stone, rather than an actual light bulb where I need to stop and actually build my life around it... That was a weird metaphor -_-
    Anyway, I think that is all for now! It helps to just write this stuff and to just get it out, ya know? An this way, I also have it written down for me to look at later. Which I think is good. Ok, well, time to do the dishes!!!! Toodles! ^_^

Trying Something New?

     Since I've started this blog, I've been thinking more about starting a YT channel or something. Mostly because I originally have always wanted too, but for reasons I've discussed in my first post, I haven't XD Mainly I'm paranoid about revealing "too much" personal information unintentionally. So, I started this blog instead. But, I feel like half the stuff I write loses its... effect because I'm not saying it out loud and using my facial expressions and stuff, which is a pretty big part of how I communicate XD So... I dunno. I've sorta wanted to start small maybe.. Like try to sing? I really like singing... but I also know I'm not the best... nor do I have any good equipment to record myself... Then again... If I was good, wouldn't it not matter if the equipment sucked? XD You can tell when someone can sing and when someone cant XD Anyway... i was thinking of maybe uploading some covers and then like making the video private, but then linking it on here XD Oh, and I wouldn't actually be on it... like it would be black or the camera just would not be pointed at me XD Cause I don't want people to know what I look like. Cause come on, I have nothing to hide if you meet me in person, but there be creepy people out there on the internet! 0_o You can't deny that... So yeah... I dunno. If I decide to do that, you'd be the first to know! :D Not that many people actually follow this blog -_- So its more of a hypothetical "you". Ya know. Anyway... Just getting some thoughts off my chest and stuff.
     Toodles for now! XD

Thing To Remember When Drving in the Rain! (And Maybe the Snow too...)

     IF YOUR WIPER BLADES ARE ON, THEN TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is literally,  my biggest pet peeve about driving in the rain -_- And I wanted to make this entire post to tell someone about it -_- In... California... Have I ever actually mentioned I live in Ca... Well I am now, cause its a gigantic state and well, I guess its ok to mention it. In Ca, its the LAW to turn your lights on if your wipers are on, but clearly so many people either don't know or don't care. Obviously, if its night and raining you turn them on, but you need to turn them on during the day too! Because its still really hard to see your car if your lights are not on! Especially if its foggy too and omg! Like, I always yell at the people, from my car, when I see them with no lights on -_- It just... its a  matter of safety people. SAFETY!!!!!
     What else... That was my main thing... but oh yeah! Set aside extra time to get places because you should be more careful and driving a bit slower in the rain! Set aside more time to get where you want to go! And also, have patience and try to be calm if things go wrong because of the weather. You can't help it, so why freak out??
     Get new wiper blades! Get them at least every year, or maybe even twice to three times a year if its super rainy where you are! Wiper blades are what enables you to see! Its every important to see!!
     Check your tires. Make sure you have the right tires for the weather and that the pressure is good and the tread is good , because tires are pretty much the most important part on the car. They decide how efficiently your are pumping water and gripping, and they decided how quickly you stop. Tires are very important!!!
     Pay attention to signs that warn of flooding and such, because you don't want to get stuck and possibly die 0_o Because its possible. If it looks deep, it probably is and just avoid it! Just avoid it!!! Also, pay attention to the weather reports and news reports. Be informed!!
     What else... Oh, don't forget the defroster! Don't let your windows fog up, cause then you can't see! Oh, you should probably check your battery too... because the cold might affect it... especially if its old... this may or not be from personal experience... Ummmm... XD
     What else? Now, if you have any questions on how to not hydroplane and stuff, I don't know about that... Just google that and ask professional drivers and stuff. But, don't do stupid shit that will increase the likelihood of you hydroplaning.
     I can't think of much else on the top of my head... Like I said, I mainly wanted to mention the bit about the lights... Lets see... Overall, BE CAREFUL!!! But don't be afraid. Just be rational and not stupid and... yeah XD Toodles!

Making Healthier Choices??

     Am I the only one that has been worrying about health and the environment lately? This goes along with my last post about worrying about making decisions XD Now a days there are soooo many things out there telling us that the way we've been eating and living for the past... 100 years or so is "toxic" and stuff for us and its probably one of the main reasons we have so many problems, health wise, environment wise and so on. I used to worry about this stuff a lot more a few year ago when I first started getting into really trying to eat better and use greener techniques in daily living and stuff, but then I got away from it a bit for a while out of laziness and now I'm getting back into it again.

     I don't know if eating organic raw vegan foods is the best for me, or if going a step further and growing all my food is best or if DIYing all my skincare, haircare and body care stuff is best and so on or so forth, but I've been... thinking, I guess, that I should try to pick some of these conscious habits up again and even try some new ones.

     I think this started back up again just last week when I watched a SunKissAlba video where she talked about her skin care routine and she mentioned a brand I've considered trying in the past, Living Libations. Another YTer I like, HolisticHabits, loves that brand (especially because its a Canadian brand and she's Canadian) and I've been wanting to try it ever since she mentioned it. But my skincare routine has been working (Paula's Choice) and the Living Libations stuff is definitely even pricier than PC... and I ain't the richest person. So... basically lately I've been wanting to switch, at least my skin care and mouth care regimens to either all organic "good stuff" or to DIYs... Its just ugh in a way because just buying the "good stuff" is more pricey and DIYs... well... I'm lazy x"D And for a few days I was really getting on myself to switch like RIGHT AWAY, but I don't have the money to switch everything RIGHT AWAY unless I pull from savings and stuff, so I was feeling bad that here I am, I have this opportunity to switch to more environmentally favorable products and to switch to things that are better for me... but I'm not doing them. I worry about that x"D In my mind it works almost like: if you see a person beating up on someone, and you know its wrong and you have the power to most likely stop them, do you? or do you just walk away because you might fail or hurt yourself in the process. I know that situation is a bit more of a drastic one, but its like that in my head. Here I have the choice to do something that seems better for me and for the world (I guess) and I'm not doing it... yet anyway x"D And this all just stems from me wanting to do what is right and good to God. I wanna be so good and perfect and treat His creation with so much care that I almost worry myself to death in the process... which I know is not good. Cause I tend to wonder too, "well... God gave us modern technology to do all these things, shouldn't it then be ok to use it? But then again, he gave us our intellect, and what if we're just using it wrong to create selfish things like anti-aging products when we could be thinking about how to-- I dunno-- create more sustainable food sources" 0_o I tend to think like that, and even more in depth. I always wonder if we're doing the right thing and what is best for our bodies as individuals and as a community and all that. And I gotta tell ya, it gets tiring. That might be why I used to read and watch movies and anime and create stories of my own for so long, because when I start thinking of real world applications and making decisions and choices that actually effect me and others... its just so much more daunting :O  Do you see my problem? Do you???? 0_o Cause its real and its... ugh... a lot x"D And in order to not freak out I have to constantly pray and ask for God's peace and remind myself that He is a good father and as long as we follow his commandments, it really probably doesn't matter what facial wash I'm using or what toothpaste I use. Those are more trivial things that are important, but aren't as important as the state of my soul and my relationship wit God. Does that make sense? And now I'm worrying that I've got the correct idea here... It never ends. Jeez. Thanks original sin.

     Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that unless what I want goes on super sale and I'm able to afford what I want before the end of the year, I'm just going to wait until after Christmas and until after I've bought everyone's gifts and all that to "worry" about myself. I'll make it my New Year's Resolution XP Nah, but seriously, I don't think it'll kill anyone to wait one more month to do all this stuff. Though, I have already started oil pulling, cause I hear that's good, and I have this giant tub of organic, cold pressed, coconut oil from Costco XD

     So yeah... ummm, if anyone is able to take something away from this YAY! XD If you need me to tell you something to take away from this, I guess its that... if you want to change something to make something better for you or others and you have the means and ability to do it right away, go ahead. But don't freak out, like me, if you aren't able to right away. I don't think God will punish you for not buying that organic apple if you can't afford it. Do what you can with what you have and when you can do something better, go ahead :) Don't feel like you have to do it right away. Then again, if its the case where you think you should stop something bad, do that right away. Cause most likely you'll save money and help yourself all at once.

    Yeah.... I think I'm done for now XP Toodles!